


I'm Watching Them Burn

by prayformalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Kinda, Maryse Centric, Maryse Lightwood Redemption, Maryse and Izzy Relationship, Max Lightwood (mentioned) - Freeform, Robert Lightwood (mentioned) - Freeform, Robert Lightwood Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 20:16:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prayformalec/pseuds/prayformalec
Summary: Shadowhunters aren't run by their emotions. They don't have many friends, and it is not uncommon for married nephilim to only talk to their partner.Though that obviously wasn't true for Maryse Lightwood's husband.





	I'm Watching Them Burn

**Author's Note:**

> Important canon detail: Izzy knows about Robert's affair

Maryse sat in front of the fireplace with letters clutched in her hands, some more than 20 years old. The oldest paper, kept perfectly neat despite the softness that came from being read thousands of times, started with an elegant “My sweet Maryse” and ended with a sharp “Yours, -R.” Gentle words that used to be a comfort scraped her throat as she swallowed her sobs, and Maryse gripped the letter so hard that it was nearly torn in half before she realized what she was doing. 

She sighed heavily, setting the letters to the side before resting her head in her hands. In two hours, she and Max would be leaving for the Institute in order to prepare for his rune ceremony. Robert would be staying in Idris for work.

“ _Work, yeah right._ ” Maryse scoffed and rolled her eyes so she wouldn’t start to cry again. Her heart and head hurt with embarrassment, but she wasn’t important right now. This was Max’s week. She could wait.

_“Wait for what, exactly?”_ an ugly voice whispered to her. When she was Head of the Institute, the work was an easy distraction from her lack of friends and the whispers of the Circle behind closed doors. Hostile and pitied glances alike could be explained by her position, and it certainly wasn’t uncommon for married shadowhunters to only talk to their spouses.

Though that obviously wasn’t true for her husband.

Now, Maryse truly had no one. There was nothing to wait for because while Max had his mother to help with his rune ceremony and Alec had his siblings to support him when she couldn’t, she only had what little power she gained in the Clave while trying to save her tainted reputation. And now Robert had ruined even that.

Maryse’s phone vibrated in her pocket, relieving her of her thoughts. She breathed deeply and slowly released her hair from her grip. 

“This is Maryse Lightwood,” she answered without a trace of emotion.

“Mom? It’s Izzy.”

“Isabelle,” Maryse stood in surprise. Of all her children, Izzy was the least likely to call unless there was an emergency. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, Mom, everything’s fine, I just. . .,” Izzy paused, “Alec told me that you’re coming to the Institute soon.”

“Yes, I am. For Max’s rune ceremony.”

“And, um. . .” she paused again, and Maryse frowned. It was also unlike her to be so unconfident in her words. “I asked Dad and he said he wasn’t coming.” 

Maryse froze, clenching her fist and worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. She hesitated much longer than she should have, and cursing herself she replied, “Yes, well. . . he has to work. I’m sure he told you how much he wishes he could make it.”

“He did,” Izzy said softly. In the pregnant pause that followed Maryse could picture Isabelle biting a similar pattern into her own lip, a bad habit that they shared.

“Mom,” she started again, “Are you okay?” Despite her best efforts, tears quickly formed in Maryse’s eyes. “I mean,” Izzy continued, “I’ve just been thinking about you lately. How are you doing?”

An overwhelming sense of gratitude and love for her daughter flooded Maryse’s heart, and she sat down with her hand over her mouth to the catch the cries threatening to break free at any moment. 

“I’m fine, sweetheart,” she managed to say, using an endearment that she hadn’t said in years. The thought of the way her relationship with her daughter had deteriorated over the years overflowed her broken heart and a tiny sob escaped her lips.

Izzy either didn’t hear it or purposely ignored it, but Maryse suspected it was the latter when she said, “I know, Mom. You’re the strongest person I know. I love you, okay?”

When was the last time they told each other that? Maryse didn’t bother hiding the emotion in her voice, “I love you, too. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon. Bye Mom.” Maryse waited for her to hang up, but realized she was still on the line, not wanting to leave her mother first, and that was Maryse’s breaking point. 

She quickly ended the call to finally let herself fall to her knees and weep for what she had lost. She wept for her ignorance in joining the Circle, wept for the burdens she had placed on her children, and wept for losing the person she thought she loved. 

Between her fingers, Maryse caught sight of the letters she had been reading moments before. She briefly wondered if Robert had kept her letters with the same care that she had and if he read them often. 

“ _Of course not,”_ the voice continued, but before Maryse could give it much thought, the letters were in her hand and she stood in front of the fireplace once more. The false security surrounding the notes had somehow disappeared within the last hour, and Maryse could see them for what they were: love letters written by a man that no longer deserved the love of the woman that they were given to. 

The fire happily licked up the smooth edges of the words of lost love, and with each letter she threw in, Maryse felt a piece of herself break off until a new her emerged from the salty ashes of her tears. She was more than a former Circle member, more than Robert Lightwood’s wife, more than the Clave’s lackey. 

Maryse was a Shadowhunter and a mother, and she’d be damned if she let her husband take that away from her.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr! @prayformalec  
> (Imagine if I had written that last line before we knew Maryse was stripped of her runes, yikes)


End file.
